Sabia- Distractions

By all that was holy, she loved to watch her emor sleep. All that black silk unbound and spread over the pillow. She was the only one permitted to see  him like this...…..and what a beautiful sight it was. It was rare that she arose before he did and had the chance to enjoy the view, with him unaware .

However, it WAS  quite the "distraction" he orchestrated  the eve before. She supposes he has the right to be tired. She feels like the cat that just finished a huge bowl of cream herself, as she notes her lips rising just a little bit at the corners in remembrance.   He was powerful, gentle, giving, taking, wild, loving, all in equal measure. He was Magnificent. She had empathy for those that would never have a true mate, would never experience and enjoy the all encompassing emotional spectrum that bond entailed. Yet, there were drawbacks to the bond as well. While heightened emotion could be amazingly wonderful, it could also be incredibly painful.

She knew Hauk didn't understand why she needed privacy with her thoughts at times. He didn't feel the same need.  As much as she loved Hauk, there were rare times that she "felt" too much, "felt" such vulnerability and pain when certain emotion overcame her that she had to shut it away...……….and bring it out little by little to process it in her own way, her own time, without being influenced by Hauk. Sabia hated to be vulnerable in most areas of her life. Hauk was the only exception, the only one that was privy to her vulnerable side at all, but the weakness and vulnerability that she felt when her thoughts went to the Raid, and what happened to her parents? She just wasn't ready to share all of that yet.  If she didn't put up a wall when she felt that emotion beginning to rise up from the farthest corners of her mind?  It would make its way to the front, like a snake, first poking its head from a hole in the ground, slowly dragging its body behind inch by inch, until it was out and moving towards you at a much faster pace than you expected , poised for attack. Once out,  then Hauk would have a need to slay it. This could only cause him to be aggrieved when he realized there was no "slaying" or obliterating her pain. His parents didn't share the true mate bond, so although he could feel the love she had for her parents, through their bonding, and he felt her pain at their loss, he had no point of reference to understand the complete emptiness and depth of that pain.

Making her wall out of "stone", she did concede, might have been a little harsh. She had felt Hauk's hurt. Maybe it was time to consider rebuilding out of a more porous material...……………she would definitely give that more consideration.
In the meantime...…………..

She had a little "distraction" of her own in mind.